... that you can rely on.
For instance, the telephone ringing just as you've sat down with a nice cup of hot tea, or the golf (I mean what sort of a sport is that? It's about as interesting as having warm marmalade applied beneath the fingernails) over-running on BBC Two to such an extent that whatever cool sci-fi/fantasy* show they are now showing gets cancelled or, and lastly, your PC crashing just as you've typed out that long email or document without having saved it.
I can also rely on every other Tuesday being the most miserable and boring day of the week. Why? I hear you collectively cry. Well, that is all day meeting day. Why must we have an all day meeting when my attention span is at best twenty minutes? To make matters worse I am feeling very tired today and a little cranky. Actually this has the makings of an interesting meeting, perhaps I could 'lose it' and go berserk, a la Ben and Matt in Dogma. Alternatively I could simply go surreal in a Vince and Howard (Boosh) stylee. Or, as is more than likely, I'll sit with my cup of tea in my 'keep warm' flask/mug and fall asleep within half an hour.
Roll on Wednesday and save me from the tyranny of pointless, mundane and far too long meetings.
*An interesting aside (well I think it is so I'm going to mention it). ITV 3 or 4, no idea which one, has been showing Space 1999 and UFO, the two real-life action series created by Gerry 'Thunderbirds' Anderson. Getting all nostalgic when I saw they were on I flicked over via the remote and sat down to relive my childhood Saturday mornings. Now they may have been two not very good episodes but the dialogue was pathetic, and the acting, apart from Martin Landau (we're not worthy) was appalling. Still the theme tunes are cool, so next time they are on I'll watch the first five minutes and then turn off. This is a good thing with regard to Space 1999 as they show all the best bits of the show in a preview over the title sequence. So you get the story, all the special effects, but no dialogue, over a great theme tune.
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3 comments:
Space 1999 rocks! The whole house and assorted hangers on used to crowd around the TV when that was on whilst I was at university.
The only other thing that was that popular in our house was Fifteen to one.
Oh the horror! Day long meetings?! Oops! I almost said awwwww poor Big Guy. Could be worse. You could be strapped to a chair with your eyelids taped open anticipating randomly timed elecric shocks of varying voltage whilst being forced to listen to a professor drone tonelessly on for days about the mating habits of the common garden snail.
OR... worst case scenario, you could be trapped in an all-day meeting without your tea and no folder to hide behind whilst you snooze. :D
How to survive an all-day meeting.
1. Ask for some input to a future meeting. Explain that people who are not primarily motivated by inter-action with other people cannot do meetings of more than two hours. There is scientific evidence. If you make them they will vote for anything that gets them out of the room quicker than they would have done.
2. Take some other problem to solve.
3. Prepare something to say if you are accused of not attending:
How will that work in practice?
Are there financial implications?
I'd like to hear (name of person who hasn't spoken for a while)'s input.
4. Sketch out six new youth work activities and a drama.
5. Make a habit of spilling your tea. Try to do it dramatically by gesturing with your arm. Spill someone else's then you can escape for five minutes to get a cloth and five more to replace their drink.
6. Write random words on a pad that look as if they might be relevant. Try:
Exodus
Core constituency
Development
Overseas readers
Reprints?
Steve Chalke
7. Text me and ask for help. I'll call you if you like and say its urgent. Reprogramme your phone temporarily so I am your ICE number.
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