Heartfelt apologies

Are sent to whoever it was the RSPCA were trying to wake up as they attempted to forward the call from my wife concerning the bat in our bedroom at 2:25 am. When the bat flew out she simply put the phone down while she was on hold.

Bat, man Awakes!

I was woken in the middle of the night, 2:25 to be precise by a commotion. As I became self-aware – nothing so advanced as the Skynet system in the Terminator, simply the move from dream state to consciousness – I noticed something moving around. My first thought was that there was a moth zooming round the bedroom. The weather has been very hot and humid the last few days and therefore the windows have been kept open. I could here a definite fluttering of wings and it sounded like whatever was fluttering, was going round in circles, this is typical moth behaviour. I then heard my wife say that there was a bird in the room. At this point any remains of sleep vanished and I was fully awake. So I jumped out of bed and went over to the light switch, at this point the whole family was awake and wondering what was going on.

I turned on the light and immediately saw this small, dark object flying around the room. It was either a very large moth, although I was beginning to have my doubts, or a very small bird, of which there aren’t many where we live. Another reason I was beginning to think it wasn’t a bird was that it wasn’t making a noise, no sound at all.

I rushed over to the curtains and opened them in the hope that whatever it was would fly out. It then occurred to me that this might not be either moth or bird but perhaps a bat… how Goth is that? My thoughts were confirmed as it landed on the curtain and took a breather before starting again on its continual circumnavigation of the bedroom.

Now, being a natural history expert; having watched most of Sir David Attenborough’s back catalogue, it struck me that perhaps bats were similar to moths and they could be confused by the light in the bedroom, and that was why it was flying round and round. So I turned off the light and listened intently. The bat didn’t change its course. Then I remembered that bats weren’t like moths as they had a very advanced sonar navigational system – again leant from David and his documentaries. However, at this point I was beginning to wonder whether Sir David actually knew anything about bats and other animals. You see the window was wide open and any navigational system worth its salt should have detected that and informed the bat that here was an exit. Instead the bat several times approached the opening only to turn back upon reaching it.

Bats are protected species in the UK and so I couldn’t, ethically, attack it with a tennis racquet. I did hear my wife telephoning someone for help, but I’m not sure who it was, I will however find out and relay it to you at some point. At this point the bat landed on the curtain, so I rushed over and turned the curtain around so the bat was facing the open window. With its advanced sonar working it then flew off between the two panes of our sash windows. We like the old look and feel of wooden sash windows but at times like this I can see the appeal of UPVC single pane boring windows. However, the bat then had an amazing show of intelligence, well amazing considering how stupid it had so far been. It climbed down between the panes and out the bottom, and flew away.

Tiredness caught up with me and I immediately turned off the light and got back into bed, making the mental note to check who my wife had called on the telephone. Who had been awake at 2:30 on a Monday morning and who would have had some connection with bats?

Kaiser Chiefs v Man Utd

Friendly fixture on Man Utd's pre-season tour

Tuesday, 18 July 2006
Friendly Match
Kaiser Chiefs v Man Utd, 19:15

I predict a riot.

How cool is that?

Not content wit being a pop star and a pilot, Gary Numan now enters the world of podcasting. But not just any podcast. This is a great podcast with Noel Fileding of The Mighty boosh, hence the title of this post. So if you want a podcast with a little fun thown in then chack it out.

Direct download here

Intital page here

Have fun :-)

Meanwhile I have to try and finish everything that I should have done at work before the weekend starts.