cold tea again

'Let us out'

2007-04-25T12:24:00.000+01:00

I hear the cry from the washed clothes in our washing machine. 'let us out' they chorus. Of course I am not holding the clothes hostage. I am unable to let them out because the handle has broken. A full load of clothes are therefore being held hostage by the uncaring Ariston machine, until the man can come and fix the handle.

At least he is a friendly man.

String theory?

2007-04-22T18:36:00.001+01:00

The water pressure from our mains cold water feed is very weak.

We have damp on our wall and I don't know where it is coming from.

Some vague connection?

Tachyon TV Pilot Podcast

2007-04-13T14:29:00.000+01:00

One of my favourite / blogs /sites over recent years, always garanteed to make me laugh, has just put up a pilot podcast. If you are at all interested in sci-fi and having a little chuckle then take a wander over to Tachyon TV and download the podcast here.

Out of office emergency phone number

2007-04-11T08:37:00.000+01:00

Walking to work today I noticed a sign that read, 'Out of office emergency telephone number'. Now this is generally a good thing. I walk past the GP so a number there would be helpful. But this notice was on the local library. Why would anyone have the need to call the 'local'* library outside of normal library times with an emergency?

'Please, I need to know, is that Stephen King novel in yet?'

'Do you have any red recycling sacks I can come and collect when you are open?'

'Could you look up onomatopoeia in the Ecyclopedia Britannica for me?'

*This isn't a major library but a local sub-branch.

David Pleat - Idiot Football Presenter?

2007-04-10T22:30:00.000+01:00

The evidence:

'There's Ronaldo, comparable with George Best, the incomparable George Best.'

The verdict:

Guilty.

How to irritate people in the UK

2007-03-29T21:37:00.001+01:00

It is a wonderful pastime in the UK, queuing. We are great at it, but this surely is a step too far. It is frustrating at the moment to be stuck behind someone who can't remember their PIN number, or someone who is trying all their accounts to find one that isn't overdrawn and so will cough up the cash. But to be able to play games, print photos and so forth would push the normal Brit reserve over the edge.

40 years on - the cashpoint gets a makeover - Yahoo! News UK

Blog Death threat, the meme to follow

2007-03-27T20:46:00.001+01:00

Ok, what has happened is totally out of order, I mean when have people been threatened for saying what they think? Is free speech dead? Oh yea, it always has been if you don't say what is socially acceptable.

What is worrying about this post on the BBC site (and before you complain I read Kathy's blog and think she is a wonderful blogger and death threats are totally out of order) is the comment that bloggers are doing their own investigation. Can you imagine it, within days we'll have a meme doing the blogosphere rounds

1 Tell me 5 things about you know one knows

2 What drugs have you taken

3 How many times have you had sex in the last week

4 Have you recently sent a death threat to a fellow blogger

After you have done this tag the local law enforcement agency

BBC NEWS | Technology | Blog death threats spark debate

Coronation Street fans treated like the rest of us

2007-03-27T20:39:00.001+01:00

It's hard to believe but Coronation Street fans have been treated like the rest of humanity. They have been abused by a drunk. It is almost as shocking as the abuse poured out by Shatner on Star Trek nerds many moons ago. When will this fan abuse end.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Coronation Street actor suspended

PS What do you expect being fan of a pathetic soap opera.

I can't dry out the damp

2007-03-15T14:31:00.000Z

The damp that I reported in my previous post is still there. I am now unable to dry it out as our microwave has decided to die.

On two different occasions it has now made a funny noise and has contained lightning whiclst powered up. I believe this to be outside of normal operational parameters and also quite dangerous. It did work okay for a day between these localised storms but when it happened for the second time there was clearly a problem.

I did look inside the oven to make sure there wasn't a metal spoon hidden at the back, or some nanotech spy fly, but couldn't see anything. My eyesight is quite good, with my glasses, and so I would have seen some nanotechnology lurking - it would have needed to be reasonably large in order to react with the microwaves.

If there was some spy fly hanging around, and if it had survived its flight through the microwaves, I could have reprogrammed it to look for leak causing the damp. I fear I may need to talk to a tradesman.

We have a dampness

2007-03-09T13:25:00.000Z

Leaking water causes damp patches. This is an eternal truth that can't be disproved. If water is coming out of somewhere then it causes damp, or more likely a puddle. We have a damp patch on our wall. But there is no water leak anywhere. It is not rising damp either, for the patch isn't on the ground.

Why is life so confusing?

Why am I posting at Cold Tea Again again - was it simply to get that sentence published?

It's time the tale were told...

2006-10-05T11:13:00.000+01:00

Hi dudes and dudettes.
Just a little note to say that Cold Tea is running down. But wait, don't worry too much, I know you hang on every word I speak forth so... let me introduce you to the replacement blog.

Roundacow

This is the new blog about daily life as per me in Milton Keynes. So pop along and have a read and hopefully take a little understanding about Milton keynes away with you.

So long, and thanks for the fish.

Call me stupid

2006-09-19T09:11:00.000+01:00

Call me stupid but isn't this a little obvious...

Scientific American: Statistical Analysis Reveals New Mortality Predictors

Actually it is a good article as it goes on, but the first paragraph did make me laugh. I half expect a further article to say...

'less than a pint of blood left in the body is a sign of impending death'

'a gaping gunshot wound to the head could prove fatal'

'falling several hundred feet could have damaging affects to the bodies chances of recuperation'

Poser 5, free 3d software

2006-09-07T09:10:00.000+01:00

If you fancy playing around with 3d software then there is a good freebie offer on at the moment. Poser 5 creates 3d people and animals and allows you to animate them.¹ If you pop along to http://www.contentparadise.com and create an account, you can, until the 8th Spetember, add Poser 5 to your shopping cart for the wonderful price of $0:00.

Unfortunately, demand has been so high that the download is taking some time, and often can't be attempted as their download bandwidth is exceded. However, once you have gone through the checkout, the download link stays open indefinitely, so you can return when things have slowed down a bit.

I am sorry that I didn't manage to get the link up sooner for another free download. Those nice guys at http://www.daz3d.com² were offering Bryce 5 as a free download and so if you wanted to play around with some 'world' creation that would have been quite helpful. As far as I know though, that offer expired on 6th September

¹ Poser 5 does much more than this but that is the sort of description you'll get from me.
² No relation

But what if I don't like spam?

2006-08-26T20:35:00.000+01:00

No, not a link to Monty Python but to a (or should that be an [I am never quite sure]) hilarious and gorgeously written post by Steve, for more info check this out - SPAM

have fun

Qumana

2006-08-21T21:18:00.000+01:00

Well hopefully you'll be able to see that I am also trying out Qumana. And I suppose I should also have said that the previous post - which I have just copied within Qumana and then been unabel to post into here, so one down so far. However, can't say I tried that with Windows Writer.

Still we'll see if this gets posted and then give them both something a little harder to do.

Powered by Qumana

Windows Live Writer (Beta)

2006-08-17T21:57:00.000+01:00

Now I have been looking for an offline blog writer for a while, not sure if this will work but I'm going to give it a go. We'll see what happens.

Obsessive Star Trek book compulsion

2006-08-14T14:44:00.000+01:00

I have realised that I am very obsessive in some of my behaviour. Well actually in a lot of my behaviour, but that is by the by, I am talking about something specific here and now.

We have been trying to de-junk our lives a la life laundry, yeah OK the programme was on in 2002 and I am only now starting to clear things out. Well the clearing has been going on for a while so I’m not that bad. Anyway, part of the clearing has involved getting rid of any old paperbacks or other books that I have either read and don’t want to keep or that are just no good.

So I made two piles one for books to read and then get rid of and another to simply get rid of (the theoretical third pile of books I want to keep were already on the shelves). This is where I discovered my obsessive behaviour; I was virtually unable to put any books into the ‘get rid of’ pile. This has left me with a pile of ‘Star Trek’ novels to read and then get rid of. Even though these novels aren’t the best stories ever written, by a long shot, I seem unable to simply bin them – I have to read them first. Still I am almost onto the last couple now having read the vast majority I had.

Roll on September when I should be near the end of this trek (sorry couldn’t resist the pun) and can look forward to reading something with a little more depth again.

Could it be true?

2006-08-11T11:47:00.000+01:00

For the first time ever I am about to go on holiday from work without piles and piles of stuff left undone. I have one more week to go and I have finished all the major jobs that needed doing. I have one pile of commissioning to do next week and that is it, however even s quarter of that is already done.

The rest of my time can be spent being creative with a couple of other projects I am working on, getting them up to speed and coming up with formats and content ideas - which is the part of the job I really like.

I would like to take credit for such organisation but I must admit that it is all down to Mr David Allen and his Getting things done book. His concepts and ideas have really helped and turned this procrastinating, unorganised creative type into a... well let's just say more organised. To go along nicely with GTD I have also been aided by the ideas and templates from the people at D-I-Y planner, although I still use lots of digital devices and online Web 2.0 applications (that's another story soon to be told) I have moved to pen and paper for my main planning... I may even be moving toward a simple notepad in the near future, I'll let you know.

So if you have a little trouble organising yourself then the above two links come highly recommended.

Heartfelt apologies

2006-07-25T08:56:00.000+01:00

Are sent to whoever it was the RSPCA were trying to wake up as they attempted to forward the call from my wife concerning the bat in our bedroom at 2:25 am. When the bat flew out she simply put the phone down while she was on hold.

Bat, man Awakes!

2006-07-24T13:07:00.000+01:00

I was woken in the middle of the night, 2:25 to be precise by a commotion. As I became self-aware – nothing so advanced as the Skynet system in the Terminator, simply the move from dream state to consciousness – I noticed something moving around. My first thought was that there was a moth zooming round the bedroom. The weather has been very hot and humid the last few days and therefore the windows have been kept open. I could here a definite fluttering of wings and it sounded like whatever was fluttering, was going round in circles, this is typical moth behaviour. I then heard my wife say that there was a bird in the room. At this point any remains of sleep vanished and I was fully awake. So I jumped out of bed and went over to the light switch, at this point the whole family was awake and wondering what was going on.

I turned on the light and immediately saw this small, dark object flying around the room. It was either a very large moth, although I was beginning to have my doubts, or a very small bird, of which there aren’t many where we live. Another reason I was beginning to think it wasn’t a bird was that it wasn’t making a noise, no sound at all.

I rushed over to the curtains and opened them in the hope that whatever it was would fly out. It then occurred to me that this might not be either moth or bird but perhaps a bat… how Goth is that? My thoughts were confirmed as it landed on the curtain and took a breather before starting again on its continual circumnavigation of the bedroom.

Now, being a natural history expert; having watched most of Sir David Attenborough’s back catalogue, it struck me that perhaps bats were similar to moths and they could be confused by the light in the bedroom, and that was why it was flying round and round. So I turned off the light and listened intently. The bat didn’t change its course. Then I remembered that bats weren’t like moths as they had a very advanced sonar navigational system – again leant from David and his documentaries. However, at this point I was beginning to wonder whether Sir David actually knew anything about bats and other animals. You see the window was wide open and any navigational system worth its salt should have detected that and informed the bat that here was an exit. Instead the bat several times approached the opening only to turn back upon reaching it.

Bats are protected species in the UK and so I couldn’t, ethically, attack it with a tennis racquet. I did hear my wife telephoning someone for help, but I’m not sure who it was, I will however find out and relay it to you at some point. At this point the bat landed on the curtain, so I rushed over and turned the curtain around so the bat was facing the open window. With its advanced sonar working it then flew off between the two panes of our sash windows. We like the old look and feel of wooden sash windows but at times like this I can see the appeal of UPVC single pane boring windows. However, the bat then had an amazing show of intelligence, well amazing considering how stupid it had so far been. It climbed down between the panes and out the bottom, and flew away.

Tiredness caught up with me and I immediately turned off the light and got back into bed, making the mental note to check who my wife had called on the telephone. Who had been awake at 2:30 on a Monday morning and who would have had some connection with bats?

Kaiser Chiefs v Man Utd

2006-07-18T08:59:00.000+01:00

Friendly fixture on Man Utd's pre-season tour

Tuesday, 18 July 2006
Friendly Match
Kaiser Chiefs v Man Utd, 19:15

I predict a riot.

How cool is that?

2006-07-07T14:28:00.000+01:00

Not content wit being a pop star and a pilot, Gary Numan now enters the world of podcasting. But not just any podcast. This is a great podcast with Noel Fileding of The Mighty boosh, hence the title of this post. So if you want a podcast with a little fun thown in then chack it out.

Direct download here

Intital page here

Have fun :-)

Meanwhile I have to try and finish everything that I should have done at work before the weekend starts.

Trainspotting

2006-06-21T14:59:00.000+01:00

Ok, now I don't want to be inundated with comments by rail enthusiasts correcting everything I say in this short post. I speak about what I think I saw, I do not claim any rail knowledge beyond the basics, so please forgive me when I call the 'engine' a diesel if it isn't.

Went down to London yesterday via Silverlink trains and the London Underground. On the way down to Euston you pass a train depot (Yes, this probably isn't the correct technical term either) and I often take a look at the trains pulled into the sidings. Anyway one particular engine took my interest. It was a diesel locomotive I believe. Now these locomotives are given names and the one that stood out for me was one named 'Oscar Wilde' - this just seemed stupid to me so I'm passing it on to you.

Whatever happened to Colourbox?

2006-05-31T11:09:00.000+01:00

Yes it is that time of year again... the soccer world cup is almost upon us. I sit here contemplating many things... but what exactly am I contemplating? Am I wondering whether Rooney will recover from his broken toe? Am I concerned that Peter (Mr Bean) Crouch [thank you Andrew] is our secret weapon? Do I worry whethwer we should employ a 4-4-2, 4-1-4-1 or 4-3-3 system?

NO

My concern is whatever happened to Colourbox!!!!

Hold on Darren, why and who and what are Colourbox and why the World Cup link? Well dear chums. Colourbox are, or were, an 80s band on the 4AD record label. You can find out all about them here. Their biggest claim to fame is that they were part of the team that brought the world Pump up the Volumn and therefore introduced house music to the masses... but don't hold that against them, they were quite good as well.

So the world cup link? Well if you read their biog you'll find that they wrote a track called 'The official Colourbox world cup theme' and it is fantastic. Although written to copincide with the 1986 world cup in Mexico it wasn't taken up by any major TV companies, however, I f I am right the BBC did use it as internal music for one of the following tournaments, possibly the euro championship two years later. Anyway, whenever it is world cup time I sit back, put on this track and contemplate whatever happened to Colourbox. All they ever did was make a few tracks, one great album (containing an amzing guitar solo by the then unknown genius William Orbit) and then they disappeared... or does anyone out there know better?

mini-heatwave

2006-05-12T15:19:00.000+01:00

Well the last three or four days in the UK, well in the bit where I live anyway, we have been enjoying a sort of mini-heatwave. However, I have had to work and also endure an almost six hour round-trip up, down and around the M1 and M25, during this time.

But it is the weekend tomorrow and so I thought, 'ah sun and relaxation', Having just looked at the weather forcast though it looks like I'll be sorely disappointed... still at least I'll be able to have a cup of tea.

Getting Things Done

2006-05-09T09:16:00.000+01:00

The above book by Dave Allen does work - well the ideas inside do - well for me anyway. Work is now organised, I am on top of things and I know where and when everything should be.

However...

I haven't been able to get it into practice outside of the office and I have far too much there that needs organising.

Oh well, will give it a good try this weekend, prepare for the mind-sweep of all mind-sweeps :-)

A couple of bands

2006-05-02T23:06:00.000+01:00

Ok, I am a little slow on getting to grips with these but...

check out the Editors here and have a watch of the Munich video

also

have a look at white rose movement here they have an official site but the tracks weren't playing there so the myspace site is best to have a listen to the track Love is a number.

and where did I find these two bands? Yep, you guessed it PartyBen. Download his Coechella dance mix (30mb) and have 30 mins of any party's music sorted out.

and

if you want a great mash-up of Gnarls Barkley, Supertramp, the Who and a little Rockwell then download this. And also check out Arty Fufkin's site, the guy behind the mix.

that's about it for what i'm listening to at the moment, great tracks a nice warm cup of tea.

It's the return of...

2006-04-25T08:54:00.000+01:00

... long meeting Tuesday, and it is a humdinger. Will I be able to survive? Anyway here is the main list of things which annoy me at long meeting Tuesday.

Pointless conversations off-topic
No one laughing when I go off-topic to be really funny
Seemingly endless conversation when the obvious thing to do is obvious - I mean it isn't rocket science
Blank faces of everyone else who wishes they weren't there

Well that will do for a while. See you tomorrow as I have other things to do so I can't really opt out of life in the short term :-)

I hate it...

2006-04-24T17:14:00.000+01:00

... when nothing inparticular is annoying me, winding me up or simply making me cringe. I feel like I am missing something and everyone is secretly chuckling to themselves because I can't see it.

As Shirley Manson sang, so I mumble in agreement... 'I'm only happy when it rains.'

JOKE!

Saturday BBC1 Doctor Who

2006-04-13T10:35:00.000+01:00

is back

nuff said

Although if you are a fan check out the real fans blog here and have a go at Neil's quiz.

Just hoping

2006-04-09T15:25:00.000+01:00

I am able to avoid watching Mayo tonight. I should be Okay as I have some stuff to do and if I get drawn to the TV I should be able to distract myself with Doctor Who night on BBC three.

Feel free to hope that I make it through without pressing the BBC One button!

You are what you eat

2006-04-05T13:12:00.000+01:00

I am not wanting this to turn into a TV review blog and I also don't want to give the impression that I only sit at home and watch TV, however, I have to briefly chat about the above.

You are what you eat is a good fun programme with some good, healthy advice on how, why and what you should eat. I love the format and I love the abuse that the narrator berates toward the (un)willing vicitm, who is normally grossly overweight, and eating the culinary equivalent of a rubbish tip.

I am currently catching it on TV almost daily through E4, or more 4 or one of the other sibling channels of channel 4. I presume that this is a re-run of the original series and so I am not sure whether the following applied to the original channel 4 transmission.

You will have noticed that many TV programmes on independent channels are sponsored by various companies and products. This normally works very well for the company and obviously gives some much needed funding to the TV channel. However, who decided to match up You are what you eat with its current sponsor. Remember this is a programme trying to get people to change their lifestyle and eat a more healthy diet. So who do they now have as a sponsor?

IAMS - the cat food producer.

So after seeing that my diet of processed food and fizzy pop is slowly turning my poo the wrong shade and smell, I am encouraged to eat cat food by the programmes sponsor. I am (no pun) sure that this wont sort out my insides! So I wonder what other programmes could have dubious sponsors... over to you.

Why do I put myself through this?

2006-04-05T11:21:00.000+01:00

I am in desperate need of help!

Am I in financial straights? Am I in a desperate situation at home? Have I lost faith in everything?

Well not exactly. I watched an episode of Mayo the new detective series on the BBC the other week. And it was dreadful, it was possibly the worst TV I have ever seen. It was stilted, predictable and unbelievable (and remember I am a huge Sci fi fan). I had high hopes for it, being on the BBC and believing that perhaps it may be similar to Janathan Creek. However, those hopes were dashed.

So what is my problem? Well the problem was that I then sat down to watch another episode of it the following week. Am I gluton for punishment? Ok, this episode did have Sylvestor McCoy as the Reverend Beaver (titter ye not) but even so, the program was again dreadful. But it is strangely addictive, so bad but I was drawn to watch it. For this I need help.

In the meantime here is a review of Mayo inspired by the Mighty Boosh.

Armi and Danny

2006-04-03T13:49:00.000+01:00

As a follow up to my previous post here is another link for the wonderful video and some further information about the above Finnish pair. Although the saddest news is the mention that Armi died through drinking too much - and I am sure that wasn't becasue she had three instead of two litres of water per day.

Go here

You can download the video from here although it is 30MB in size, but as we have said it is a classic - Steve try and hold on for as long as possible it is worth it.

And as for Danny's site itself, it really is a corker. I can't believe that such talent could ever come from Finland, he certainly shows other acts from there the correct way to shake their thang.

Worst video, or song, ever?

2006-03-31T13:13:00.000+01:00

Have to link to this. I'd like to thank the guys at Music Thing for posting this. After seeing it I again feel my faith in music rekindled. And as the comment suggests, do stick with it, the choreography is fantastic.

http://musicthing.blogspot.com/2006/03/worst-music-video-ever.html

0800 Reverse

2006-03-29T08:57:00.000+01:00

Well this got me thinking about what I'd like to be buried with, but then after procrastinating on the thought for about ten minutes realised that it was a pointless exercise - I mean you are dead after all (please don't start bombarding me with your views on the afterlife, whatever you believe being buried with your mobile phone wont help).

However, the underlying reason for taking the phones when they died was in case they weren't really dead and they were buried by mistake. I couldn't help thinking that if you were so unlucky as to be buried alive you were also the sort of person who constantly forgets to recharge your phone, and then when it is fully charged unlikely to get a good enough signal to actually call anyone.

Perhaps I'll ask to be buried with my broadband connection, I never seem to have any problems connecting and staying connected to the int...

Typical

2006-03-23T13:06:00.000Z

So I book a week off work to spend some time alone at home, catch up on some things, do some long term planning and generally sort things out. And what happens?

Well I end up having to call out the doctor for a home visit. Yes, I was so ill that I couldn't even make it down the doctors and he is less than a five minute walk away. Although why I bothered to cal him out I don't know.

'I've got this really bad cold, it may be flu, and I think I've also pulled a muscle in my back which means I can't move'

'Yes, I think you do have a viral infection. Where does your back hurt?'

'Here'

'Right. Do you do any exercise?'

'Well actually I think it was the sit-ups I was doing that may have pulled the muscle in my back'

(he laughs)

'Well it is good to exercise, bye'

Me thinks I may have to exorcise my doctor and find one who actually does some doctoring. My current one is about as much use as a tanning salon in the sahara.

Why II

2006-03-13T09:52:00.000Z

Why, is it that when you are up against things, deadlines looming and a holiday just a week away... do you end up with a week littered with annoying meetings that you really don't want to go to, but which are deemed important by others to attend???

Anyway, happy new week to you all :-)

Why

2006-03-09T16:37:00.000Z

does it always rain on the evening you have to put the rubbish (trash for my US friends)out for the dustman?

A few tests - yep i'm procrastinating again

2006-03-07T10:13:00.000Z

Mmm some interesting a fun test. Picked them up via Flipping Heck.

You fit in with:
Humanism

Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations.

20% spiritual.
40% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

You are Hard Harry from Pump up the Volume

You are shy, but once you overcome that you are inspirational to those around you. You are rebellious and like to push the authority figures buttons.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

You most resemble Marlon Brando

You are very smart, and very talented, although you don’t really enjoy social company. You prefer to live alone, go to movies alone, cry alone in the corner...

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Possibly the best mash-up ever

2006-03-04T01:58:00.000Z

This is absolutely fantastic. The Mp3 is here but if you go to PartyBen there is a link to a video version too and I love the imagery of the musical notes. You'll need Real Player to see the vid, but worth downloading anyway.

New Numan CD

2006-02-28T00:29:00.000Z

OK, a little plug for Gary Numan, as the Boosh say, 'he's a pop star but also has a pilot's license... how cool is that?' Well Mr Numan is back with a new CD. The new CD has it's own micro-site here and it has all the info you need to find out more about Jagged (that is what it is called). What is even better is that for the offering of your e-mail address you can get access to a free download - pop star, pilot and giver of free MP3s, even cooler. And even if I do say so myself the track is quite good.

Also bought the second series of The Mighty Boosh on DVD today so I am having a veritable media feast.

Scintillating conversation

2006-02-27T13:21:00.000Z

Had to go to the Post Office at lunchtime to get the car tax renewed. Thought it would be better to do it at least a day before it is due to miss the rush, however the Post Office was packed so don't think I saved any time.

But...

... I was subjected to the wonders of local conversation by the old gentleman standing behind me. I was in the queue for about 15 minutes and he spoke one phrase over and over as he witnessed the length of the queue and the time it took to get to the counter.

'... 'kin hell'

That was it, over and over until he noticed there were only 3 chashiers working to which he added to this phrase...

'... 3 chashiers'

... then back to the previous one. Until someone else decided to work, and then he added...

'... 4 cashiers'

... the art of articulate speech isn't lost in Bletchley you know.

Reasons why I don't like today

2006-02-22T08:51:00.000Z

it's raining
don't feel too good
I'm tired
it's Wednesday - neither the beginning or end of week
I have a lot to do
No Man Utd in Champions league
I can't find the 'work' zone
other people exist (I am very 'I' in my 'INTP' today)
why don't people understand what I say?
trees aren't orange
miscellanious grumbles too small to mention in their own bullet point
have to use IE6 at work and not firefox
am not a millionaire (and yes I would be happier if I had that much money)
it's Thursday tomorrow and I don't like Thursdays
common sense leaves most people on Wednesdays

Tom Baker says

2006-02-20T14:21:00.000Z

This is pure genius and is wonderful for wasting lots of time. Have fun at Tom Baker says

PS, not for the easily offended

Spam and sexual aids

2006-02-14T20:48:00.000Z

Got an interesting piece of spam in my 'bulk' folder at yahoo. I love checking the folder to see what is in there and also just in case something important has gone in despite telling them it is authentic post.

Anyway the latest piece of spam to catch my eye was another piece of junk offering me sexual prowess (I am not saying that any junk that offers such stimulus catches my eye). The title of this email, I didn't get further than the title was... 'Erection Pack: Time limited offer' ... and my response to that was, phew, glad it is time limited, if it wasn't it could cause some mild embarrassment.

Publicans vs the police

2006-02-13T09:00:00.000Z

No this isn't about the latest battle for the top of the Hit Parade (my mum stills calls it that), although nice to see Leo Sayer still breathing.

This refers to something I caught on BBC news this morning whilst munching on some breakfast (trying to eat breakfast each day as part of my get healthy drive). Down in Yeovil they are going to introduce fingerprint scans as a way of entering public houses and clubs. The idea being that if you are a troublemaker you may be refused entry. A little machine scans your print, you then enter some details and voila you are on the system. The interviewer was talking to a policewoman who was very happy with the scheme about data protection and the concerns some people have about this. The policewoman reassured the interviewer and the viewers that their details were safe because only the publican would have access and not the police.

Now I grew up in the era of The Young Ones, therefore I was drip-fed the line that all police were faschists. However, if it came down to my details being held by the police or a bunch of publicans I know whom I would prefer to be in the clutches of.

Remix heaven

2006-02-12T00:21:00.000Z

Well. I'm basically using posting about thsi to see if this new firefox extension works. Portishead's Numb was a fantastic album and the mashers around the world have remixed it. If you want to hear about it then take a look here.

Why

2006-02-09T13:42:00.000Z

Do sons get ill when you have a lot to do at work, meaning you have to send all the important info home via email (invariably forgetting the most important bit)?

Still at least it means decent tea on tap, which if it goes cold I can simply zap in the microwave. Not to say I can't zap the tea at work, but that would mean a trip down three floors, which, if I am totally honest,I just can't be bothered to do.

Mmm, think this site needs a spring clean - item number 102 on the @projects lists. I am sure David Allen said there wouldn't be that many - sure I have done my mindsweep wrong lol.

Cold-tea-again in words

2006-02-07T09:22:00.000Z

Just a quick update. Got this idea from Urban Chick who as you can see got the idea from elsewhere. And the image generation comes from here. Ultimately I think we all have the divine to thank, but perhaps I am focussing too much on the big picture for such a little post. I am tempted to get a t-shirt but surely that is self-glorification gone too far.

It is the week-in-between as far as Tuesday meetings go. It is now one week on and one week off (feel like Mr Miyagi), and this is the week off week. So no long all day meeting.

There are some things in life...

2006-01-31T09:25:00.000Z

... that you can rely on.

For instance, the telephone ringing just as you've sat down with a nice cup of hot tea, or the golf (I mean what sort of a sport is that? It's about as interesting as having warm marmalade applied beneath the fingernails) over-running on BBC Two to such an extent that whatever cool sci-fi/fantasy* show they are now showing gets cancelled or, and lastly, your PC crashing just as you've typed out that long email or document without having saved it.

I can also rely on every other Tuesday being the most miserable and boring day of the week. Why? I hear you collectively cry. Well, that is all day meeting day. Why must we have an all day meeting when my attention span is at best twenty minutes? To make matters worse I am feeling very tired today and a little cranky. Actually this has the makings of an interesting meeting, perhaps I could 'lose it' and go berserk, a la Ben and Matt in Dogma. Alternatively I could simply go surreal in a Vince and Howard (Boosh) stylee. Or, as is more than likely, I'll sit with my cup of tea in my 'keep warm' flask/mug and fall asleep within half an hour.

Roll on Wednesday and save me from the tyranny of pointless, mundane and far too long meetings.

*An interesting aside (well I think it is so I'm going to mention it). ITV 3 or 4, no idea which one, has been showing Space 1999 and UFO, the two real-life action series created by Gerry 'Thunderbirds' Anderson. Getting all nostalgic when I saw they were on I flicked over via the remote and sat down to relive my childhood Saturday mornings. Now they may have been two not very good episodes but the dialogue was pathetic, and the acting, apart from Martin Landau (we're not worthy) was appalling. Still the theme tunes are cool, so next time they are on I'll watch the first five minutes and then turn off. This is a good thing with regard to Space 1999 as they show all the best bits of the show in a preview over the title sequence. So you get the story, all the special effects, but no dialogue, over a great theme tune.

Unbelievable, or is it?

2006-01-22T11:23:00.000Z

Well the story of the whale in the thames had an unhappy ending, for the whale. Sadly it died and so the recriminations are starting. Anyway, the Mail on Sunday joined in with its stable mates when it comes to journalistic originality. Their headline for the sad story was 'Farewhale', wonders will never cease.

To get things in perspective though I recommend you have a read of this - you tell it Steve.

Daily Mail press genius

2006-01-21T11:55:00.000Z

On Friday most of the UK were watching scenes of whale that had managed to swim up the River Thames and end of up in Central London. Currently it is still there and the best place to see what is happening is at the BBC.

But I was stunned at the journalistic creative genius that flows effortlessly out of the Daily Mail. It is no wonder that it is possibly the worst newspaper on the planet. It must have taken all of a nanosecond to come up with the front page headline for Saturday's Mail. I can just imagine the editors sitting around trying to think of the front page copy. Whale, up the Thames, in London and it is trapped... what did these creative, talented, highly-paid hacks come up with?

Free Willy

The doctors, triads and brocolli

2006-01-19T23:07:00.000Z

The local Chinese restaurant is very good. We're not talking 'take-away' here but restaurant. However they do a 'cheap' lunch menu that I have partaken of several times over the years I have lived here. On this menu many of the meals come with 'seasonal vegetables', however everytime you order one of these meals the 'seasonal vegetables' always turn out to be brocolli. Now I have nothing against brocolli, but why not simply put that on the menu, instead of giving the false hope that one day you may get spring green, or green beans.

So what is the link to my doctor? Well, it seems that I need to take a trip to the doctors for him to have a look at my knees. Currently when I walk up the stairs there is a clicking noise that I am sure shouldn't be there. This noise is coming from my knee and not the stair-boards as I first hoped. If I was a robot a good sprinkling of WD40 would help but I am, despite claims to the contrary from some, alive. The noise is coming from my right knee and so a trip to my 'Chinese' doc is called for. Now he is a good guy and a very competent doc. (When I say Chinese doc I mean his ethnic background is Chinese, not that when I go there he will give me some bark and twigs, tell me to boil it in hot water and drink the stuff.) Although there is always an irrational fear that he will send me away with a prescription for powdered rhino horn (or paerhaps that is simply wishful thinking).

Anyhow my doctor has a habit of talking about nothing inparticular when you go and visit him. On several occasions this leads to him expounding on the nutritional merits of, you guessed it brocolli. I am beginning to wonder if he is in league with the Chinese restuarant? Is there a sinister conection between the two? Or, has my wonderful little town been infiltrated by a Triad gang, who, having seen the rise in 'vegetarianism' have opted from drug smuggling into the 'brocolli' market? Perhaps there is more money to be made from 'Home countries green' than 'Moroccan Red'.

Women Bishops

2006-01-16T13:04:00.000Z

It seems the whore, sorry I mean, bride of Christ is having another fun time. Yes the Church of England is trying to sort out how to get women bishops into place. Now personally I don't much hold to the whole ordination thing so couldn't really care less. But I was watching the news at lunchtime and couldn't stop laughing.

There was an interview with some lady who was on some committee or other and she was explainign how a proposal of 'getting around' having a women bishop worked. Some bods in the church don't want a woman bishop or any priest associted with them because of something that they call 'tainting'. Therefore if they want they can have a male bishop who hasn't ordained any women priests at all, and is therefore untainted.

Anyhow what made me laugh was the phrase this woman used. How she didn't laugh as she realised what she said I don't know, or is it perhaps that people connected with the church are a little out of touch with society? (That is a rhetorical question, I know the answer to that.) She said, and I paraphrase slightly, although the funny line is exact, 'So Parishers can opt for a Bishop who is not tainted (here it comes)a bishop who has never laid hands on a woman.'

Jonny B's

2006-01-16T08:51:00.000Z

Private Secret Diary is a very funny blog. I have mentioned it before but thought I should mention it again as today, or was it yesterday, he mentioned two of my musical heroes. I feel vindicated for living. So if you want to know more about the wonderful life of Jonny, the LTLP, Narcaleptic Dave and the rest of the crowd from Norfolk then go here and have a good laugh.

Happy Blogday to me

2006-01-05T14:56:00.000Z

One of the features that blogger have is to count the number of posts you have made, and mine has now reached the magical number of 100. I wanted to mark this ocassion with some highly humourous, witty and acerbic attack on some injustice in the world, or to give you all something to chuckle at, but with the time it was taking to come up with something, it was starting to feel like there was a millstone around my neck, 'how could I breach the 100th post barrier?' So in the end decided just to tell you and write some drivel.

Of course, I have deleted several posts over my time here and so I probably passed the 100 post count several weeks back. In which case, this is a totally pointless post anyway! And while I'm writing this the tea I made is slowly going cold too. (Ah feel better now after that mini-rant).

So what does 2006 have lined up up for 'cold tea again'? Well hopefully a lot more of the same, as I do battle with the frustrations of life, love and the joy of procrastinating.

1 and 1 Internet - the conclusion

2006-01-04T11:01:00.000Z

'Ok pay the money into the account details I sent you. You told me you had the details and that payment would be in 14 days. If you don't I will add a £15 administartion charge and will be adding interest on a daily basis... as per my conditions'

'We paid the money into your account several days ago, please can you check'

'No it hasn't, not into the account that I sent you.'

'Well it was paid before Christmas'

'Hey Darren,' the co-dependent 'that 1 and 1 payment has gone into my account, do you want it transfered'

'yes please'

'Thank you for paying me the money, but you paid it into the account that I expressly told you not too because I don't have access to it.'

'Sorry for the inconvenience.'

Ironically, and I think I am using it in the right context here, I just received a customer satisfaction questionnaire from 1 and 1 Internet. I'll enjoy filling that in.

very small print because I am so embarrased
The bank details I sent to 1 and 1 were wrong and so if they had done what I asked I wouldn't have got the money at all. Praise be for inefficiency.

Happy New Year?

2006-01-01T21:30:00.000Z

I wonder why Charles Dickens chose Christmas as the feast for his Scrooge story. Ok, the main character is a little thrifty and caught up in his own world, but I wonder why Christmas. Yes, it is the season of goodwill and joy to all men, but really there is a much better time for pessimists, anti-philanthropists and people who write 'cold-tea' blogs... of course I refer to the annual out-pouring of optimism that heralds in the New Year.

We write our long lists of resolutions and send best wishes for the forthcoming weeks and months, as though we really do believe that things will change. But to be perfectly honest they won't, they haven't for millennia so why should 2006 be any different. We'll still be killing each other and slowly dissolving the planet, being polite in front of others while sticking pins in their proxies when they aren't looking. Things wont be any different. We'll still lose close freinds, some I fear wont be seeing 2007 unless something miraculous happens, so perhaps 2006 will be different for them as it will be their last here. But hey, that is life (or death).

So a merry post to start the year? Well actually I think it is. By recognising that everything isn't going to change overnight, we may be able to realise that we have to put some effort in. If we want things to be better, we have to choose to act and be better. Sitting back and living the anaesthetized existence that we all love to hate won't change a thing, but living, breathing and making this world a better place can. Take a page from Rio Ferdinand's book, he's now scored twice in four games... miracles don't just happen at Christmas. And for those who can't do anything to change their current circumstances perhaps that miracle could be ahead this year

(it's just like) Starting Over

2005-12-26T21:09:00.000Z

Ok, I am biased. Did you really think I would say anything bad about the programme that came second in the viewing ratings on Christmas Day? From the opening scene, which was the same as the start of the new series (yay Mum and Dad for getting me the DVD series), to the steady build up (no DT for virtually 30 mins) to the hard edge which underlies the slightly flippant exterior of the new incarnation, this, I thought, was classic.

Yep there were cringe moments, but for me they worked - 'Doctor who?', I mean can they get any more cringe worthy than that? Although there was little DT throughout the opening exchanges, when he appeared, and we all knew it was coming, it was timed to perfection. As the translation kicked in and then, the Tardis doors opened - wonderful.

Ok, let's try and be critical. I think the overuse of the 'Torchwood' theme was a little overbearing - OK, there is a spin off TV series coming, but did it have to be so sledgehammered into the script? Also I thought the turn of the Harriet Prime Minister character into the 'evil' leader was a little out of sorts. And the shoe horning of the Christmas theme was a little close to the edge, I mean why send Santas and a Christmas tree to fight the Dr?

But, in gerenal I loved this, as I have loved everything, so far in R T Davis' version. I suppose there will be some point when I will lose heart but so far there is no end in sight. Dr Who is still fun, a great family favourite and we're all enjoying it. And in March when the series returns we'll get to see some more old friends - nostalgia never tasted so good.

Deadringers in funny line shock

2005-12-23T22:45:00.000Z

It seems that Deadringers have been taking note from the comments left on the BBC website for ideas for the show, I presume they now use that for the majority of their script. Unfortunately they haven't taken on Andrew's comment that they should do a sketch without telling the audinece who the character is.

Caught a few minutes tonight and actually laughed at a line. There was a James Blunt impersonation and the funny line was 'Morrisey says James Blunt is rhyming slang' well it made me laugh and any mention of the cool Manc is ok by me.

If i don't blog before 25th, then a happy Christmas to you all.

Dr Who countdown

2005-12-22T20:44:00.000Z

Well couldn't resist this little plug for Dr Who - The Christmas Invasion, which airs on Christmas Day at 7:00pm on BBC 1. I am a little scared just in case it doesn't live up to expectation but from the clips they've been showing I am sure it is going to be great.

As soon as it has been on, and I can, I'll post about it, and all being well it will be a positive post.

To be honest I think that Dr Who has been one of the best things to happen in 2005. It was a great reinvention of a TV programme that had run out of steam many years before.

Yahoo

2005-12-20T15:28:00.000Z

Nice to see that others are noticing that there could be a conspiracy going on. Check out Flipping Heck for a quick post of the power of Yahoo.

But as I comment there, they seem to be influencing a whole lot more. Flickr and del.icio.us (why do they need so many '.' s in their name?) were the first to fall into disrepair, but also Typepad had a major outage just after Yahoo announced a deal with them and their 'beta' community 360 has been having all sorts of problems (well my little bit of it - oh i could spit)

Anyway I was wondering what else they would or could touch? Typepad is part of Six Apart, which are the people behind Live Journal and Movable type, so expect them to suffer shortly. I am now waiting for my broadband connection to die, and also my phone line to go dead because my isp is BT who are in collaboration with Yahoo.

If only Yahoo could do something that would benefit the communities they serve, such as sponsor the Take That comeback tour or be the airline for Gary Glitter's trip to Asia. They are things we could all do without. Let's breakdown the things we don't need, not the really useful sites on the web.

Now back to my tea.

Beatles sue EMI

2005-12-16T22:27:00.000Z

Ok saw this on the BBC website and can't help but think something is wrong somewhere. OK, this is a lot of money and I have no love for the big music conglomerate. But hey, do the surviving members of the Beatles and their estates really need that money? I suppose they'll claim it is a matter of principle, but to be honest they haven't got my sympathy.

Although, it also smacks of Apple trying to sort out its financial issues. I wonder if the first Sir Paul heard about it was when he read the above link here - LOL. Of course he is an avid reader, what do you mean?

Interesting

2005-12-15T09:04:00.000Z

Things seem to be going a lot better after the last week or so.

Some software issues seem to have been cleared up, life in general seems a bit better and, although I hasten to add this is allegedly, 1 and 1 internet are due to repay me within the next 14 days - LMAO.

To add to this Ferdinand finally breaks his duck and scores for Man Utd, which puts him slightly ahead of Diego Forlan in Utd's top scorers.

I've caught up with a lot of sleep and now feel ready to take on the world again (damn different time zones). Which means a lot of to do lists, a clear out of all the 'stuff' and a lot of contructive thinking with regard to someday/maybe lists. (I still haven't got David Allen's book, but I know all the lingo). Why mention this? Well it's because I'm not sure where cold tea is going at the moment, it has lost a bit of focus and it may simply be easier to use the other blogs and sites I have to 'get out there'. So watch this space.

1 and 1 Internet again

2005-12-13T09:48:00.000Z

Ok so pay me the refund

We already have an automatic payment to the card details we have.

No, I told you I don't have that account anymore, please pay me.

Send us the bank statements, to show that payment wasn't made and we'll send a cheque

I don't have the bank statements. I don't have the account. I told you that three times before you sent the refund invoice. And no way would I send you my bank statements even if I had them. They are private. Please pay before I have to take this further.

Ok, give us the new details and we'll do a new bank transfer. We don't send out cheques.

Prats

I need a break

2005-12-11T15:01:00.000Z

Have decided that exactly what I need right now is a break, a complete shutdown to clear my head and re-evaluate things. Unfortunatley, work is so busy I can't stop there for a while, personal issues are such that there is no room there either. The pile of cold tea cups is mounting.

I need to do a big life laundry exercise and focus on what really matters to me. Well I know what really matters but I can't seem to make any headway on those issues, both because I am unable to and because at the moment things are impracticle.

I am dues a sabbatical at work next year and to be honest it can't come quick enough. But what I ma going to do when it arives I don't know. Anyone fancy a road trip ;-)

Little Britain III

2005-12-09T09:12:00.000Z

I think I've just watched my last episode.

At least we get to see the Boosh next year

1 and 1 internet - again

2005-12-08T09:01:00.000Z

Well, just a quick update. I paid the outstanding bill after being threatened with a kneecapping, well they sent it to a collection agency, because they said they would refund me for the amount of time I didn't use. And yesterday they sent me an invoice, with a credit amont on. I was going to recieve the refund.

However, there was no information on how they are going to refund me, and when this is likely to happen. Still I have the invoice - that is their first mistake mwahahaa.

Little Briain vs Christmas Do

2005-12-08T08:43:00.000Z

My faith in British comedy has been revived. Why, I hear you ask, Surely Darren hasn't decided that the third series of Little Britain is worth the licence fee? No, Andrew, don't worry I haven't gone that far. So why the reason for this outburst? Well, the fact is I have found something more unfunny than Little Britain!!!! Or should that be less funny?

Yes, it was our annual works do last night, I knew I shouldn't have woken up yesterday as it was going to be one of those days. Anyway, I agreed to give a lift to Mr Hopper, as I can't remember the last time I drove people to a do, so it probably was my turn. We had a minutes silence for departed friends - we remembered you, and then I had the first shock of my life. We arrived late, becasue we didn't want to be too sociable, and when we finally got to the bar we were asked, 'are you with that lot?' 'Yes,' we replied. 'Then there is a tab running.' Well, I had to be picked up off the ground, we remonstrated with the bar staff, told them this surely couldn't be, but apparently it was so. Absolutley, bloody typical... free drink and I was driving. I could have had a couple of Ladyboys (see Alan Partridge just in case you think I've gone all gay like).

So that was pretty funny in itself but the highlight of the evening was the entertainment. If you thought Little Britain has become dull, then believe me, it is still comedy genious compared to what we had to put up with. Ok, we are a creative bunch, we are full of ideas and can come up with some pretty cool solutions to problems. But comedy demands, timing and humour. Unfortunately the comedy presented had neither. At the best of times I felt like I was in a nightmare, at the worst of times it was a parallel universe where all the atmosphere had been replaced with treacle.

Ok, break the golden blog rule and go into four paragraphs. Having said that the food was nice and so was the local company on the table - but missed you A. So comedy genii our company is not, where are Howard and Vince when I need them? (see the Mighty Boosh just in case you think I've gone all gay like)

Another week

2005-12-05T14:16:00.000Z

Too much to do, too little time but...

hey, Utd won at the weekend and the Dons are now into the third round of the FA CUP. But, Berman and Bragga struck again with one of the worst Enterprise episodes ever, and that is saying something.

Life is the normal mix of highs and lows, both personally and for others I know. In fact my lows look like highs compared to what some are going through, so I don't have much to complain about.

Anyway, I've been neglecting cold-tea-recently, so whether that means I need to rething what I'm doing here, or just put a little more effort in, I don't know. In the meantime I'm back and we'll see how it goes.

Mr Myagi

2005-12-03T12:00:00.000Z

Should have posted this the other day, but been a little busy. Thanks for the text Andrew, I did know.

Wax on, wax off
Wax on Waxed off
Goodbye, we will miss you

Little Britain again

2005-12-01T21:40:00.000Z

Ok, I must admit laughed tonight, particular highlights were:
Ting Tong as the Green Goddess
Orville
'Spitroast'
and
the slap to the guys you know what

and of course any programme with a reference to Monkey gets my vote.

Top Ten words and phrases

2005-12-01T09:19:00.000Z

Welcome to a new regular feature of cold tea again - LOL, I miss Alan Partridge.

Inspired by a previous post here are my current top ten words and phrases, all are used frequently and go down well with a nice cup of tea. Credit is given for the inspiration where credit is due. And the order isn't based on usage, but just as I wrote them.

Keep it together man - Monsters Inc classic
Goth Juice - the Mighty Boosh, made from the tears of Robert Smith
really nice
Bottrop - hoping it is a place
Yeah, I know - comedy crown slipped but the catchphrase still rocks
That there's one damn fine coat - Sin City
That's just Milky Joe in a wig - the Mighty Boosh
That's just saaaaad - Alan Partridge (you really need the sound clip for this one)
Enjoy the moment
You have been and always will be my friend - hey, I like Star Trek, what would you expect

There were others that I was tempted to add but as children may read this I thought it best to keep it clean. I may put the X rated version on my LJ, but you'd have to find that first ;-)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-29T19:00:00.000Z

Went to see the new Harry potter film over the weekend. Enjoyed it despite the normal loss of story from book to film. It was quite long and the cinema was packed with little kids, however they were all very quiet so it kept their attention.

It was a little jumpy at times and so probably deserves the 12a rating. Anyway all in all a good film, enjoyable and gripping. Good way o showing the stresses and strains that friendships go through as young people age - hey the same issues adults face ;-)

Thumbs up to cineworld aswell for a lovely tray of nachos and chillies.

Moby journal

2005-11-29T18:54:00.000Z

I often visit the Moby journal, I really like the guys music and attitude. Anyhow this was posted the other day and thought it was quite interesting. So thought I'd share.

Moby

me thinks he makes a little sense

That's probably the last serious post here ;-) Still awaiting a response from 1 and 1 internet hosting (let's see if that hots up the search engines)

George Best 1946-2005

2005-11-25T13:27:00.000Z

Goodbye George

Respect!

Little Britain play mastercard

2005-11-25T10:09:00.000Z

After a dissappointing first episode, Little Britain tried to regain their comedy crown last night. It wasn't the funny Lou and Andy sketch, it wasn't the incontinent lady as she handed the pee soaked pension book back and it wasn't a really fun fat fighters sketch.

Their salvation came in the reference to comedy gods the Chuckle Brothers, but will this trump card save the series from being another over-hyped series that has gone on for too long?

1 and 1 internet 2

2005-11-25T09:03:00.000Z

Ok, the battle with 1 and 1 begins today. I will be paying my bill and they said they would refund me. I'll see if they keep their word. If not my wrath will be likened to when Cineworld in Milton Keynes ran out of chillies for their Nachos - never has such vindictiveness ran through my veins as when they got their order wrong.

Still apart from that it has been a quiet week, with the family being ill, me looking after them and trying to do as much work as possible - I need an extra few days to appear from nowhere.

Tennant, Sci-fi and channel 4

2005-11-21T09:08:00.000Z

Ok, boring weekend, wasn't up to much apart from trying to learn a bit more about wordpress and other web related things.

Enjoyed the mini Dr Who episode on Children In Need and am now looking forward to the Christmas special and the new series, thought that David Tennant would be good, but always nice to have those thoughts confirmed.

Got very upset with Channel 4 over the weekend. Sat down to watch Enterprise (see my calendar) and found that they had replaced it with the Smash Hits Poll Winners party. So upset that I turned off the TV and vowed not to watch Channel 4 until they had something decent on - or next Sunday when Enterprise should be back.

This week will see the start of a manic time at work - so be prepared for gazillions of blog posts as I procrastinate instead of getting things done (small gtd).

The Times held no good reviews over the weekend so I can't moan at them, and I also quite like the frosty weather so I can't even moan about the weather. I may have to rethink what this blog is about ;-)

I don't like it

2005-11-18T13:42:00.000Z

I think Little Britiain may have run its course. Watched the first episode of the new series last night and although I laughed, I have to admit that I found it a little boring. I think it suffered the same fate as Catherine Tate eg it is just a bunch of cliched characters with catchphrases, that once you have heard them there is little room for manoeuvre. Messers Walliams and Lucas have a bit more creative talent than Miss Tate and so are able to create some interesting situations for their characters. Ann performing in Stars in their Eyes was intersting (and strangely scary at the same time) but even they may be now pushing it for ideas in this third series.

No doubt I will watch the rest of the series and no doubt I will contniue to laugh at it. However, I have to admit that at the moment the comedy crown has to go to The Mighty Boosh for both originality and actual humour. Great comedy needs more than just an old woman swearing and an 'out' gay guy who hasn't had any gay experience.

I may even go so far as to say that it is time for the BBC to eat humble pie and ask Chris Morris to return.

Latino Heat

2005-11-14T21:30:00.000Z

Sorry this is a shock and I have nothing to say except to look sheepishly at the camera asking what could I possibly have done wrong.

Eddie

Getting fresh

2005-11-14T09:38:00.000Z

No, not like that - It must be the state of your minds that makes you think in that way. No it is the start of a new week, and the weather has now taken a sharp turn toward the chilly factor. This monring the street was filled with the noise of car engines runing whilst flustered occupants scraped the windscreens with various tools. The joy of being able to walk to work.

Anyhow, I'm posting this to say that like the weather I feel a bit fresher this morning. The world seems a better place to live (partly due to the fact that I didn't watch the news over the weekend), I feel ready to try and get through the backlog of work I have (partly due to not doing much work over the weekend) and I generally had a nice weekend which means I can face the stress of work with renewed energy. (Should last about five minutes)

Just a quick plug, if anything in the adverts catches your eye, do take a little click through and see what is on offer. Support your poor typed out blogger ;-)

She sells grapevines

2005-11-09T21:13:00.000Z

I think I've posted about my recent interest in mash-ups before, but I need to tell you about a couple I recently heard. For the uninitiated a mash-up is the mixing of two or more tracks to create what can only be described as a hybrid track. It has been used by good effect by the pop industry to get a little money for itself eg by the the sugababes with their Tubeway (Gary Numan) Army track. However the best examples are to be found underground and on the net.

Anyway, the ones I just wanted to mention were a couple of tracks which have used Marvin Gaye's Heard it through the grapevine. Now I'm not a soul fella and so have never been big on Marvin, even though I think he has a great voice. But some clever chappies have mixed his vocal over the top of two of my favourite tracks to create something very interesting, if not fantastic.

The first is called My grapevine life, which mixes Marvin with Talk Talk's It's my life, and it works. The second mixes the soul legend's vocals with the Cult's She sells sanctuary and is called She sells grapevines. I think they are both great and if you're interested simply put those titles into google or yahoo and follow the links. Alternatively take a trip to Live 105's SixxMixx guru PartyBen and or MashupTownRadio and learn all about mashing.

One and One internet hosting

2005-11-07T16:50:00.000Z

For no particular reason other than these are the current things that I am not happy with and am in the process of moaning about - directly.

www.1and1.co.uk
Mince tarts
www.oneandone.co.uk
Any cake with almond flavouring
internet service provider 1 and 1

Can you believe that my former internet hosts demand that I pay them for a service I haven't used? Fistly they sent an invoice to me which I was unable to pay due to not wanting to pay via credit card. I then cancel the account, but because the invoice was sent before I cancelled I have to pay - the full amount of three months hosting. They say they will refund once I have paid, but the reason I cancelled in the first place was that they wouldn't accept payment via paypal. Aaargh.

So without any warning and no further invoice, or demands for money, they get their collection service to write to me asking for the money, which has now cost me a further £15. Telephoning both companies is about as helpful as using sandpaper as a cure for piles. So the upshot is I have to pay out and then they refund me for the service I haven't used.

I have a funny feeling this will not be the last post on this matter!

Flock

2005-11-07T10:10:00.000Z

I thought about the idea of a pun on the name but to be honest couldn't really be bothered, so in the end I just thought 'Flock it' - ha ha ha. Seriously this is an interesting piece of software. Take a trip to the website and see what you think.

It's really a glorified web browser, that integrates photos and blogging and rss feeds. Actually it could be pretty much what I've been looking for to integrate all the junk I have. Anyway I downloaded the pre beta release over the weekend and managed to play with it for about 5 minutes before I had to go and do something else, so I can't report any great revelations at the moment. Suffice to say that for a pre beta release it seemed extrememly stable, and had tons of functionality. If I manage to play a little more I'll keep you informed.

As an aside I am quite interested in the design of their site. I have noticed a trend recently in providing large type and very clear design. Is this the shape of things to come?

Nostalgia again

2005-11-04T14:28:00.000Z

Well this made me laugh. It is from JonnyB's private secret diary which is a very funny account of life in Norfolk. Anyway here is the quote, if you laugh you've got the joke and are probably remembering what you got up to in the eighties. Jonny is telling the readers he is off to live in a friends house for a while and is suggesting there could be slight change to the blog:

Normal service will continue here, perhaps with a few new characters in a
different location. It will be like Joey (the hilarious spin-off from Friends
not the man on Blue Peter).

I can't stop laughing...

Web overload

2005-11-03T13:30:00.000Z

If I had the time to make some tea I would but it would then go cold as I surfed my through the ever expanding world on online apps.

I seem to have overloaded myself again and need to get some sort of central repository to my 'online' life (should that still be distinct from the rest of it or has it become so intertwined that it can no longer be separated). I sometimes think that if it wasn't for cookies (which go well with tea - ha ha) I wouldn't even be able keep track of what was what in my favourites menu.

From multiple email accounts, to newsreaders, to tagging apps, to wikis, to blogs, to my own webspace with all its potentials, the online overload is everywhere. With the majority of new material going rss it should, in theory, be easier to link everything up, but at the moment there are so many vying apps that I feel the need to be involved in them all *evil grin*.

And yesterday we got the information about windowslive which seems a little vague at the moment, in beta, but potentially another repository to (un)organise my life. I do love the variety of ideas and concepts the web embraces but I really need to organise these a little better. I'll keep you informed if I find the killer app - or better still you can always point me in the right direction by leaving a comment.

HTML heaven

2005-11-02T09:12:00.000Z

Who said HTML code is evil bad and always out to get me. All I needed was a nice cup of tea, a brain that was half-awake and Dreamweaver. Yes, I do feel like I have failed and let all hardcore coders around the world down by reverting to the WYSIWYG aproach. But please let me explain. Although I did use Dreamweaver I was in the code window for working out what I needed to do, please believe me when I say that I am not letting notepad champions down - I will return ;-)

Actually one of my favourite web design packages at the moment is Namo's Webeditor. I got a free copy from PC PLus and have been really impressed. It has a simple interface and does what you ask it to. The version I have is a couple of steps down the evolutionary scale so the newer versions should be even better.

Code is out to get me

2005-10-31T09:26:00.000Z

Following on from my last post where I told you all, yes it was a very interesting post, about my hassle with the table tag, yeaterday I spent what seemed like a couple of hours with another coding problem.

I am doing the html interface for a CD ROM for work, eg I can do it cheaper than the firm who were doing it and as it is simply changing links and adding a few new ones it seemed like an easy job. However when I got into the code I realised I need to add a couple of sections based on what had been coped before. But could I find out which piece of code needed copying? Yep, same answer as the HTML Hell post. To make matters worse the issue is again to do with tables. I mean how difficult can it be to find the beginning of a section, copy it and then rename the text within? So perhaps a late night tonight and I may even revert to using my trusted Hot Dog 7.03 html editor to help me understand the structure.

The Times reviews didn't hold anything worthy of a comment this weekend, but I did manage to catch Match of the Day - both 1 and 2. This does deserve a comment. I thought the aim of this program was to show football, however it seems that they are now trying to turn it into a seeding ground for untapped stand up comedy. It is like Saint and Greavsie without the aforementioned presenters, but equally unfunny. Dear BBC, please leave the football comedy to Fantasy Football.

HTML hell

2005-10-28T19:49:00.000+01:00

Aaaargh. Ok I'm trying to set up a site with a table based layout and the firfox vs IE hassle has once again surfaced. I have it perfect in firefox but can I get it to layout right in IE? Can I ****! And can I understand what the problem is? Same answer!

I thought if you specified a table cell width it would stick to it, and in firefox it does, but in IE it doesn't. Happily the tea isn't going cold as I'm supping some stella but that isn't the issue. (And no I'm not so tipsy I've done some obscure piece of coding - the coding I did was a few days ago).

But what is the solution? Well I'll go and have a look and see if I can sort it. But at the same time I'm using the 2nd pc in the house and the monitor is playing up - although not sure if it is the monitor or the graphics card - it keeps flicking from normal size to a reduced size and it is annoying me.

How could they do this?

2005-10-26T13:26:00.000+01:00

It must be the day for quoting The Times (I'm so livid I was almost tempted to put the 't' in The as lower case in complaint). In an article talking about Harry Hill creating a TV programme for children the author, (who isn't named on the online version - scared eh? You should be!) talks about their dislike of slapstick comedy. Ok slapstick isn't to everyones taste and each to their own, I accept that. But when it comes to the following sentence that is a step too far. After a brief journey through comedy history, listing slapstick people who they find unfunny, they then state the following:

Their contemporary equivalents are the Chuckle Brothers who manage to be both
unfunny and decidedly sinister — and not in a good way

How could they diss the comedy gods of children's TV! I may well have to write to Barry and Paul in a fit of outrage to demand that they sue for libel and then console them! How could the author say that they are sinister? What could be sinister about two middle-aged guys with northern accents, short hair, moustaches and who always hang around together?

The rest of the article is here

Bananarama review in The Times

2005-10-26T13:06:00.000+01:00

Forgive me if I'm wrong but did anyone in the 80's ever take Bananarama too seriously? For anyone who bought, and liked listening to, their records, I am sure that part of the appeal was that it was throw-away pop that didn't take itself too seriously. Now I never bought any of their stuff but they were a laugh and there were many nights out that I found myself dancing along to their bland sound, both prior to the Pete Waterman era and during.

I read with interest the review of their new CD in The Times on Saturday and ended up not sure whether to laugh or let the tea go cold in despair at the reviwers comments

Read it here

The way the review ends by saying that their sound descends into

track after track of forgettable electro-pop that suffers from poor production and the pair’s weak singing

I am sorry but I seem to have missed something, surely that was the appeal of the group! They never were great singers, the music never was greatly produced (there is no argument as to whether Pete Waterman is anywhere near Trevor Horn when it comes to producing) and it always was forgetable electro pop that would never change the world. That was what made them the most successful girl group of the 80's!

Windows eXasPerated

2005-10-21T14:19:00.000+01:00

So I am supposed to be working at home today and so when I sit down to turn on the PC and start working a strange thing happens. The PC already seems to be running - I'll investigate that later - anyway when I try to log on nothing happens, it's hung. So I restart and go through all the 'you did not shut down your PC' and scandisk malarky. Then when it finally gets ready to start I can't log in. Well that would be an understatement. I can log in but the log in only takes me as far as the desktop picture and nothing more. So to solve things I have to run msconfig and fortunately I somehow get to the system restore option. Luckily there is a restore point a few days back and so nothing major gets lost.

However this all took over two hours to sort out - scandisk runs terribly slow, I really should clean up the PC - and so a days work has been lost, I will now take it as annual leave but the thing is, it is just a pain.

Stil I did manage to down a couple of nice cups of tea while waiting and sorting it out ;-)

Today programme 18:10:05

2005-10-18T14:50:00.000+01:00

A quote from the BBC

'Karl Rove, often described as George Bush's brain....'

I'm not saying a thing

Ladytron II

2005-10-17T13:47:00.000+01:00

Just caught an advert/ preview of Bleak House, the new adaption that is being shown on the BBC . The preview uses the opening track from the Ladytron CD. So if you see the advert you'll have heard the band. Check them out, they realy are worth it - well I think so, but then i do like the Cardiacs too.

Phew, just had to use recover post - it worked ;-)

Torchwood

2005-10-17T09:04:00.000+01:00

OK, I think we could have some fun with this, unless April fools day has now moved into the autumn.

I don't know whether this will work though, I can't help but think that the more we have from Mr RTD will lead to a lowering of the wonderful standard set in Dr Who.

So before I whittle on too much, tyou'd best find out what I'm on about. So go here.

'The truth is out there, you know, in Cardiff'

Hard to believe

2005-10-13T23:24:00.000+01:00

Now I am probably tempting fate here but the scenario of changing my web host has seemingly gone smooth. I did all the swapping over of domain names today and so, all being well, from tomorrow evening I can start linking things up. I've been waiting for this for over a month now because I had to change from my previous host because I wanted to pay via paypal. I then found the new host and if everything goes smooth I'll start telling you all what a good service they provide and how, if you want a host, they are the people to go to.

So do I let slip what I'm going to do? No, I'll let you all sweat for a little while, partly because I'm not sure what software to use on the sites at the moment and partly because I want to make a big song and dance when it all goes live.

I've not been well you know

2005-10-13T15:45:00.000+01:00

Mmmm, it's slipped my mind where that quote comes from, but that just goes to show how very ill I have been. Yes, a severe bout of 'man-flu' has waylaid me. Yet here I am ready take on the world again.

I have lots of plans for the next few months and will be revealing them as I go. Suffice to say that I feel a few big changes coming in the next few months.

Bought the Ladytron CD the other day and think it is fab, it's the 1980's with a 21st century makeover. Can't recommend this highly enough, and if you get the chance to see them live go on, take it. In the meantime I have to save all my pennies so that I can go and have a listen to Tim and the boys. The Cardiacs dates are fast approaching and I still haven't got the ticket, let alone the trains fare.

Serenity

2005-10-07T09:14:00.000+01:00

OK, where do I start?

at the beginning?

You mean like a flashback scene, only we don't know that it is a flashback scene?

yea, you're getting the idea!

This will set the scene for the next two hours, of possibly the greatest sci-fi movie I have ever scene.

how can you say that?

Well, I did say possibly. But I am quite certain this will be there or there abouts when the revolution comes and they put me up against the wall.

So why the brash statement?

Simply put Serenity is a sci-fi film that isn't genre derivative. It is sci-fi but fresh. I believed in the characters and cared for them; they were real. They were funny, cruel and both human and super-human. The film was 'cool' without the need for pouring rain, darkened alleyways and eerie music (however the soundtrack was great).

I don't want to say too much because I don't want to give too much away. However, you should try and do all you can to see this film. I laughed, I almost cried and I was most definantly entertained. I never saw the TV version 'Firefly', but if it was anything like this film, then I can't understand how it was cancelled. I mean are people that stupid that they don't want to watch quality characters, story driven plots and a script that so sharp you could split the atom? Actually, looking at the people I passed on the way to work there is no need to answer that.

So what are you going to do Darren?

Sorry, aren't you from another film?

My apologies, please continue

Go and see Serenity. I am sure you'll love it.